The Diary of a Nobody
Charles Pooter

July 11.—I find my eyes filling with tears as I pen the note of my interview this morning with Mr. Perkupp.  Addressing me, he said: “My faithful servant, I will not dwell on the important service you have done our firm.  You can never be sufficiently thanked.  Let us change the subject.  Do you like your house, and are you happy where you are?”

I replied: “Yes, sir; I love my house and I love the neighbourhood, and could not bear to leave it.”

Mr. Perkupp, to my surprise, said: “Mr. Pooter, I will purchase the freehold of that house, and present it to the most honest and most worthy man it has ever been my lot to meet.”

He shook my hand, and said he hoped my wife and I would be spared many years to enjoy it.  My heart was too full to thank him; and, seeing my embarrassment, the good fellow said: “You need say nothing, Mr. Pooter,” and left the office.

I sent telegrams to Carrie, Gowing, and Cummings (a thing I have never done before), and asked the two latter to come round to supper.

On arriving home I found Carrie crying with joy, and I sent Sarah round to the grocer’s to get two bottles of “Jackson Frères.”

My two dear friends came in the evening, and the last post brought a letter from Lupin in reply to mine.  I read it aloud to them all.  It ran: “My dear old Guv.,—Keep your hair on.  You are on the wrong tack again.  I am engaged to be married to ‘Lillie Girl.’  I did not mention it last Thursday, as it was not definitely settled.  We shall be married in August, and amongst our guests we hope to see your old friends Gowing and Cummings.  With much love to all, from The same old Lupin.”

The Diary of a Nobody is the fictitious diary of Charles Pooter, written by George Grossmith and originally serialised in Punch magazine in 1888 and 1889.
The text of this version is taken from the Gutenberg etext, and the weblog format was engineered by Kevan Davis (initially a straight weblog in 2004, then rewritten as an auto RSS generator in April 2007).