The Diary of a Nobody
Charles Pooter

August 26, Sunday.—Nearly late for church, Mrs. James having talked considerably about what to wear all the morning.  Lupin does not seem to get on very well with Mrs. James.  I am afraid we shall have some trouble with our next-door neighbours who came in last Wednesday.  Several of their friends, who drive up in dog-carts, have already made themselves objectionable.

An evening or two ago I had put on a white waistcoat for coolness, and while walking past with my thumbs in my waistcoat pockets (a habit I have), one man, seated in the cart, and looking like an American, commenced singing some vulgar nonsense about “I had thirteen dollars in my waistcoat pocket.”  I fancied it was meant for me, and my suspicions were confirmed; for while walking round the garden in my tall hat this afternoon, a “throw-down” cracker was deliberately aimed at my hat, and exploded on it like a percussion cap.  I turned sharply, and am positive I saw the man who was in the cart retreating from one of the bedroom windows.

The Diary of a Nobody is the fictitious diary of Charles Pooter, written by George Grossmith and originally serialised in Punch magazine in 1888 and 1889.
The text of this version is taken from the Gutenberg etext, and the weblog format was engineered by Kevan Davis (initially a straight weblog in 2004, then rewritten as an auto RSS generator in April 2007).